Give

So, I gave the bum at Wal-Mart $10 yesterday.  Hubs and I decided we need to crack back down and stop eating out so much so I decided that I would get a cheap meal off the famous $1 menu at Mickey Dees.  As I’m pulling in I see him there on the corner by the stop light and I think, eh, I don’t have any cash anyway.  I’m off the hook.  I pulled into McDonald’s and ordered my side salad and daily double which by the way was atrocious.  The lettuce was slimy but that’s neither here nor there.  As I am pulling out, I see him again.  And I again justify not giving him any money because I don’t have any.  I even double checked to see if I had just a dollar that I didn’t know about and no, nothing.  Suddenly, my heart just broke for him.  The thought did cross my mind that this guy could be a professional bum and make more money begging than I do working an honest job but that thought was quickly replaced with a command.  “Go to the ATM, get $10 and give unselfishly to this man who has been reduced to begging at the Wal-Mart street corner.”  It was clear and I knew immediately who was speaking to me.  I mulled it over in my mind as I was driving to the ATM.  What if he buys drugs with it?  What if he is a fraud?  What if he was a father who begs by himself to save his wife and kids from the embarrassment?  What if he had a good job and lost it like so many?  What if, what if….?  The directive was clear and it was so strong that I couldn’t deny it.  I worried about how I would give him the money.  After all, he was standing on the wrong side so the driver would have to hand the money across the car and out the passenger window.  I wondered if I would have time to ask him his name.  I didn’t.  I pulled up to him, rolled down the window and he reached in and grabbed the money.  This was his reply, “Thanks, dude, God bless you.”  Dude?   Really?  I guess I was driving my husband’s truck which is a “man truck”.  It was liberating.  I just knew I had passed “the test”.  I prayed all the way back to work that he would spend the money on food or some other need and not drugs or smokes.  I prayed for his well being and that he would find a job so that he could get off that corner.  I could worry about whether or not I just contributed to the meth trade in this area, but I choose not to.  I know I was a blessing to that man and when I looked at him, I realized, I’m not better, just blessed enough to have a great job.  It’s not my place to judge, just to love unselfishly just like my Father loves me.